Saturday, 6 September 2014

Happy Birthday to Bloody Cake News

With apologies to Tolkien and to Gimli and especially to Agnes, I butchered one of my favourite Lord of the Rings excerpts to craft this birthday tribute to Bloody Cake News for tomorrow, Sunday 7th September.

The Song of BCN

The web was young, the trees were green
And bloody cakes were all unseen
No blog was laid on page or site
When Agnes woke and wrote so bright.
She claimed the shameless books and hacks
She heard unnumbered audiotracks
She rode by train to Cambridge here
And there saw three new stars appear
As friends upon a web based wire
A group to raise the bar much higher

The web was fair, the cakes were tall
In summer days, before the fall
With mighty scribes from blessed lands
And western towns who raised their hands
And called out, "Agnes you can stay,
We have some books to give away."
A queen she was in oaken chair
And authors turned to stop and stare
With golden hair and silver pen
And reviews of power often when
The light of Peat and Joe and Mark
With shining copies of their ARCS
Undimmed by night or pint of beer
There chatted freely, oh so near.

There finger on the keyboard smote,
There books were read and blogs were wrote
There baked was cake and piped was glaze
The plotters wrote, the agents crazed
There princes, kings and viking sail
And lyric prose like fishes’ mail
Writing and story, plot and word,
And poignant quotes were often heard.
Unwearied then were bloody cake folk,
Even with two ankles broke
The authors tweeted, facebook glowed
And at the cakes, the saliva flowed

The wifi’s down, the web is gone
My favourite links are now all wrong
No book is planned, no chapters writ
Distraction snares me in its pit
The cover waits for one more part
Justice due for Darko’s art
But still the chosen pics appear
A facebook status oh so clear
There likes their crown in pages deep
Till birthday girls awake from sleep.

For those who want to cleanse their literary palate with a shot of the original, here's a link to Durin's Song, as sung by Gimli son of Gloin in the mines of Moria..

(Edited slightly on 7th September to improve the scanning in the first verse and the sense elsewhere)

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